I have sat here with this page open for a few days now trying to wrap my head around things and get things out. The words are coming slowly. I am going to be real and honest with you all I think I am still truly in shock. I mean I saw her on Thursday and said goodbye to her but. I so badly wanted her to sit up and get out of that casket and everything was going to just be a bad dream. I cry a lot when I am alone. I pray and wonder what if. I know there isn't any thing that I can do today that will change what happened Sunday night. I keep asking myself Why didn't I text her Why wasn't she with me.....Why her? Why now? But those questions will go unanswered until we are all in heaven.
The last death we dealt with as a family was Matt's grandmother. I think death is easier dealt with when its someone who is older and lived a full life.Not that loosing Mamaw was easy it was still a shock and hurt our family very much. With Katy it was SO sudden and she was not even 20. It just doesn't seem fair. I feel sad for the girl driving the car and for the young boy that hit them also. There is a blind spot at the spot the accident happened and I know the driver never set out to do this on purpose. If one thing changes for the good over our family loosing Katy the light that they were turning at will be changed to a turn on arrow only. Whatever I have to do I will make sure NO one else looses a loved one in that spot because of a blind spot!
I'm still in shock but have bits of other emotions... anger, depression... This isn't easy and its not going to be for a LONG time. I loved Katy like she was my own sister but more than being that she was my friend. I spend several days a week with her and now I think in the next few weeks I am going to have some things to deal with because I will miss her for a very long time.
Please continue to pray for our family. My Mother in law is in the hospital in the ICU and not doing to well so pray for her also. And please pray for the driver of the car and the young boy that hit them they are going through all of this too and need prayers.
Thank you all so much excuse the rambling I truly am a mess and am not forming things fully in my head yet.
Sarah
Sarah, I can't even imagine how hard this must all be! Big Hugs!! Praying for every one!
ReplyDeletePraying for you Sarah.....
ReplyDeletefound you via Kellys Korner....i am adding your family to my prayer list!!
ReplyDeletebless you!
Wow. That is all I can say. I can't imagine all the hurt & pain your family must be going thru. It is SO sad/heartbreaking to see such a young girl leave this world so soon.
ReplyDeletePrayers will go to your family from me! :-)
Something similiar happened to my husband's friends neice. And not sure if you saw the link on Kelly's Korner, but she also got killed in a car accident. It was early in the morning, and she was was traveling on a bridge, hit the reer of a dump truck, then her car veered into the other lane, struck a guardrail, and her car went into flames. It was SHOCKING.. Just as I'm sure it was shocking to your family. Jessica (girl that got killed) was such an amazing person.. Always happy! It's almost been 2 months, but her family is still taking it hard.
http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Jessica-Cancienne&lc=7192&mid=4246124
Main point of me sharing this: You're NOT alone! I know that might not be much comforting, but I felt the need to share. :-)
Again, prayers now & always!
Praying for you and your family!
ReplyDelete