Saturday, February 27, 2010

The dark side of TTC...

Yesterday my father in law said while playing with Adlie "I think Adlie needs a little brother." As much as we adore Adlie and would love it if God blessed us with another child I don't know if I want to put myself though the ups and downs of Trying...

In the 5 years Matt and I have been married we have been pregnant 3 times. I know you think wait they only have 1 child.... We suffered 2 miscarriages before having Adlie.

I hate the total disappointment I felt every time I would see a negative test. I hate the wait to know if this month was our month. I hate feeling like "being together" is a chore. I HATE putting myself though the months and months of tears just to have to put on a happy face to try then next month.

I am 25. We want 1 more child IF and WHEN God decides he wants to bless us with a baby. When and if we do decide to TTC we will not share that news because its just not fun having people ask well are you pregnant yet!

I mean really Adlie is only 14 months old I don't really think we need to get moving on the TTC thing any time soon.

Tonight I want to ask you to all pray over all the women who are TTC because it can feel like a long dark road that is filled with negative tests and disappointment in yourself and your body. Pray for God to be with them on this journey because it is not easy.


*TTC= Trying to conceive


  1. I so agree with you. it is a very hard road to travel and unless you have been there you have no idea. We get asked all the time when we are going to have another baby. You know, it took us 12 years to conceive Blaze so you do the I just don't know if we ever will.

  2. Been there, done that! Went through a year and a half of fertility treatments with DS#1 and it was a long, hard, sad road. Wanted more, but just like you, didn't want to subject ourselves to trying. DS #2 came along all by himself, so the boys are a few days shy of being 3 years apart exactly.
    Now, I'm preg with #3, and she happened after only 2 months off the pill. My fertility issues were supposed to get worse as I got older, but that seems to not be the case. I share this with you to be encouraging (not to 'show off' that I can get pregnant... I hope it doesn't come off that way.)
    Basically, I just know your pain, and your logic, and your discouragment. But, when and if the time is right, God will bless you with your next little sweetheart!

    (Does MIL know about the struggles you have with TTC, and with miscarriage?)

  3. I know exactly what you mean! We had trouble TTC with our first 3 babies. I had to use chlomid with my first 3 pregnancies. One of those was a miscarriage. Doctors always get confused when i would tell them I have been pregnant 3 times, I had 3 live births (one set of twins) and one miscarriage. After I had the boys i was diagnosed with PCOS and was being treated for that when we decided to try for baby #4. We were shocked when there was no trying involved. I like to call her our 'planned accident'